Tuesday 26 April 2016

In the mind of an Aspie


In the mind of an Aspie


Here is an example of what goes on in the mind of an Aspie

I finally got, the call for, an interview!, I read the job ,description and I know ,I can do it all with ease.
My heart leaps with joy at the possibility of being hired - being accepted. I am so excited! I can do this.
I have the date and time written but I repeat it over and over in my head so I don't forget it.

The beginnings of dread start to creep in.
I need to make sure I know how to get there. I don't want to get lost.
Self-doubt. What if I they don't like the way I answer or say the wrong thing? What if they don't like me? How long will the interview be? It's okay. I think I can do this.

Day of interview: Dress professionally. What does that mean? What if they don't like the way I'm dressed? Comb hair, brush teeth - please don't get toothpaste on my shirt. Sorry sneakers, I have to wear my other shoes. I hate those shoes. They pinch my feet. But I really, really want to make a good impression. This will have to do.

I have to get going. I don't want to be late. Gotta find the darn place. Okay now I have to find parking and that's a big, unfamiliar building. Great! I'm gonna get lost in the building!

Receptionist - stranger danger - I have to ask her for help! I already sound like a bumbling idiot. Job interview - yeah, I'm a beggar. I can see the pity in your eyes. I think I hate you.
UGH! I can do this job. I should already have this job. Why do I have to go through this stupid process?!

Stay calm. Get to the Human Resources Department. Oh God - more people! Plaster on your "pleasant, happy face" but not too happy. Are my eyebrows right? Maybe I look like I have a worried face on. Relax face muscles, crinkle eyes, quirk mouth. Okay, that should be my confident, glad-to-be-here face. I feel the tension rising up and I want to hide.

I don't feel very confident. I am not glad to be here. Stay calm. Now I have to remember eye contact and a firm handshake. I hate this. I really, really hate this. How badly do I need this job anyway? Shoot - they called my name. Here goes - stay calm - deep breath - smile...